Rough Edges       -Harry Dempsey

 

A right to sink the blues

 

We interpret sound waves through a very complicated process which scientists refer to as “interpreting sound waves through a very complicated process.”  Sound allows us to verbally communicate our thoughts, emotions, convictions, beliefs and opinions to friends, relations, strangers, foreigners and even to people from the Upper Peninsula.  Because we are only human (with the exception, of course, of the IRS), we sometimes misinterpret that which we are hearing.  Nowhere is this more evident than in listening to recorded music.  For example, in the early 1970’s, I labored under the impression that the song “Ventura Highway” by the group “America” began with the phrase “Juno pizza crabs.”  I had no idea what they were getting at with this phrase (perhaps a warning concerning some sort of California Italian food infestation), but this was from an era when John Lennon was convinced that he was the “egg-man,” as well as the “walrus” and that we all lived in a yellow submarine, so I didn’t question the logic.  It wasn’t until much later that some friends (who in fact now reside in California) pointed out that I was mishearing the lyrics and what was actually being sung was not “Juno pizza crabs,” but “Chewin’ on a piece of grass.” This sort of thing happens a lot.  In the song “She Caught the Katy” by the Blues Brothers, I was sure that the phrase: “The train pulled out, I swung on behind” was actually “The train pulled out, I swore on a pie.”

Again logic has nothing to do with it.  It’s what we hear, so it must make sense even if it really doesn’t.  A good friend from Pittsburgh is convinced that the song “Brandy” by the group “Looking Glass” features a boyfriend named “Luddy.”  She bases this on her mishearing of the song’s lyrics “He had always told the truth, Lord, he was an honest man” as instead being “He had always told the truth, Luddy was an honest man.”

I’m sure that we all know instances where this has occurred in our own interpretations, as well as in the interpretations made by others around us.   I remember my father-in-law singing along at full lumber-camp volume with the Oak Ridge Boys’ early ‘80’s hit “Elvira,” misinterpreting the key phrase, “My heart’s on fire, ELVIRA!” to be instead “My heart’s on fire, H--- FIRE UP!”

In the interest of civic education and as a public service to anyone who’s ever sung or endured others singing the wrong words or taking lyric liberties, here are some other commonly misinterpreted song lyrics:

Song: “Groovin’” – The Rascals

Actual Lyrics: “Life would be ecstasy, you and me endlessly”

Misinterpreted as: “Life would be ecstasy, you and me and Leslie”

Song: “America the Beautiful”

Actual lyrics: “Oh beautiful for spacious skies”

Misinterpreted as: “Oh beautiful four spaceship guys”

Song: “Leroy Brown” – Jim Croce

Actual lyrics: “Meaner than a junkyard dog”

Misinterpreted as: “Meaner than a junkyard duck”

Song: “Wasted Days and Wasted Nights” – Freddie Fender

Misinterpreted as: “Wave to Daves and wave to Mikes”

Song: “Blue Suede Shoes” – Carl Perkins (Elvis Presley)

Actual Lyrics: “You can drink my liquor from an old fruit jar”

Misinterpreted as: “You can drain my liver in an old fruit jar”

Song: “Can You Feel the Love Tonight?” – Elton John

Actual Lyrics: “It’s enough to make kings of vagabonds”

Misinterpreted as: “It’s enough to make cheese and crackers on”

Song: “The Christmas Song” – Mel Torme

Actual Lyrics: “Chestnuts Roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose”

Misinterpreted as: “Chipmunks roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost ripping at your clothes”

Song: “Age of Aquarius” – The Fifth Dimension

Actual lyrics: “This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius...”

Misinterpreted as: “This is the dawning of the age of malaria...”

Song: “Dance to the Music” – Sly and the family Stone

Actual Lyrics: “I’m gonna' add some bottom, so that the dancers ‘a just won’t hide”

Misinterpreted as: “I’m gonna' add some bottom, so you can dance with ‘a just one eye”

Song: “Rock the Boat” – The Hughes Corporation

Actual Lyrics: “Well I’d like to know where, you got the notion”

Misinterpreted as: “Well I’d like to know where, you got the nose from”

Song: “Drift Away” – Dobie Gray

Actual Lyrics: “Give me the beat boys and free my soul”

Misinterpreted as: “Give me the Beach Boys and free my soul”

Song: “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” – Pat Benatar

Misinterpreted as: “Hit Me With Your Pet Shark”

Song: “I Fall to Pieces” – Patsy Cline

Actual Lyrics: “I fall to pieces – you walk by and I fall to pieces”

Misinterpreted as: “I call for pizzas – you won’t buy, so I call for pizzas”

Song: “Your Song” – Elton John

Actual Lyrics: “If I was a sculptor, but then again no”

Misinterpreted as: “If I was a skeleton, but then again a gnome”

Song: “Windy” – The Association

Actual Lyrics: “Who’s sweepin’ down to capture a moment?”

Misinterpreted as: “Who’s creapin’ down to capture a Mormon?”

Song: “Take Me Home Country Roads” – John Denver

Actual Lyrics: “Younger than the mountains, growin’ like a breeze”

Misinterpreted as: “Younger than the mountains growin’ lima beans”

Song: “Something” - The Beatles

Actual Lyrics: “Something in the way she moves, attracts me like no other lover”

Misinterpreted as: “Something in the way she moos, attracts me to her mother’s lover”

            I hope that clears up all your musical misconceptions.  However, if you have any lyrics to add to my list, send them to me care of the Pioneer, 502 N. State St., Big Rapids, MI., 49307.